Archives for January 25, 2011

Learn How To Park, You FIB

For those of you do not reside in one of the Midwestern states, or just living under a rock, or just a better person than I am, a FIB is a Fucking Illinois Bastard. And today, I bring to you my beef with drivers. And parking. And my neighboring state Illinois.

I’ve driven in a lot of big cities, including Los Angeles, but I have got to say that both of my neighboring states – Minnesota and Illinois – have got the worst drivers known to man. It drives me crazy to leave this state, despite the fact that I hate it so much.

But I’ve digressed.

Over the weekend, we went to see The Fighter at a nearby theater and on our way into the parking lot, we notice some jerkoff decided it was necessary to park halfway into the aisle making it near impossible to go down it. But, in our narrow maneuver, we notice something is a bit off. And by off, I mean there were three cars parked in what is meant to be two spots.

Really? You really had to park someone’s car in between your giant truck and someone’s van? In Green Bay, where the movie theater is  never ever even close to full? Where there were spots just a row over? You needed the closest spot to the door that badly?!

I understand that maybe, just maybe, you knew them so it was no big deal. But judging by your license plate, and the fact that you obviously have no care in the world for anyone around you, I think I’m safe in saying that you’re just an asshole, blaming everyone but yourself.

I hope you got towed.