We had to put our rabbit, Bun Bun, to sleep today. All too soon, at least in my eyes.
I sit here, eyes swollen, going through my third box of tissues as the rest of my animals silently understand we’ve lost someone. The house is just as quiet as they are, reminding me there’s no Bun left to make the noises that used to fill this void. There’s no Bun left to give the snuggle bunny love or drawn out stretches completed with a yawn. There’s no Bun left to do the tiny flips and racetracks around his play area. There’s no Bun at all.
I sobbed in front of two total strangers today. I don’t even know their names now that it’s over with, but I hope she was right. I hope, that when she said there was only a 1% chance of you getting past this, she meant it. I trusted her. And I hope you know that no matter what the truth was, I had your best intentions in mind.
For all the times I screwed up wee-man, I’m sorry. Oh so sorry. I didn’t want it to end this early and I am so consumed by guilt that it has. Everyone tells me that it was just your time, but only you know. Only you know if I didn’t fuck up that bad. But you aren’t here anymore. You aren’t here to tell me if I really did it this time. So I can’t fix anything and I will never know if it was just your time.
I will miss you so much.
I will never, ever forget you.
Most people say you’re just a rabbit. But just a rabbit doesn’t even come close to what you are. You were so much more than that to me. To him. To them. No one will ever replace you though, Bun Bun. My heart hurts for you right now. And while I’m positive time helps ease wounds, it will never heal this one. I can only hope that one day, when it’s my time, I’ll find that Rainbow Bridge that I’ve kept on my mind so often. Until then, I hope Koko, and Scooter, and all of the other dogs and cats keep you company until I find you again.
Just an FYI: The launch of my Etsy shop & Love Without Training Wheels will be delayed a few days. I just need some time.