Here are my top five tips on building a relationship with other bloggers. Whether you hope to network, make new friends, or just want to be a master relationship builder, I’ve done these things since I began my blog in 2010 and have some truly amazing people this way.
1. Don’t be shy
Send an email. Or a tweet. Or a Facebook message. Leave a heartfelt comment. The point is to do something. If there’s someone you’d like to connect/network with, make the first move! A lot of bloggers I’ve become closest to are ones I’ve reached out to or ones that have reached out to me. It took one of us breaking the barrier and letting the other one know we even existed for the relationship to begin. It’s really that easy.
2. Show off who or what you admire/love
Love someone’s writing style, or a specific post? Or maybe you dig the items in their shop. Or perhaps you love how they style their hair/make-up/clothes. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to let the world know. Ask them to do an interview on your blog. Or show off some of their work (with credit, of course) and let them know you featured them.
3. Talk with them, not at them
Engage in your community, whether it be on social media sites or in your blog. Ask questions or for opinions. Respond to comments or messages. If you continuously throw facts, stories, or comments at people and never put forth the effort to create a meaningful conversation, the likelihood of one being created is pretty slim. It’s not to say you can never “talk at” them, but it’s the same message as the quote ““We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak” by Epictetus.
4. Collaborate
Working on projects with new people is an awesome way to build relationships. Even if it’s something small like swap projects, guest posts, link-ups, etc. It’s a great way to spread the love, get to know someone a bit better, and find a new community of readers that are probably pretty similar to you if you’re working with someone that has similar traits.
5. Skip the compare and contrast game
Don’t let the numbers play a factor into your decision to build or not to build a relationship with a person. Bigger bloggers are no better than those starting out because everyone starts somewhere. I have worked with some people that have just started blogging – a month or two into it – and they were no different than those who had years under their belt. The point of building relationships is to find yourself surrounded with like-minded people who you enjoying talking to – not bloggers you have nothing in common with. Just remember those like-minded people come in all forms.
Love this post! this has actually been on my mind lately. I have not really made "the first move" because I am intimidated by the size of their blog. Thanks for the post :)
Thanks, Cerrisse! I think it's easy for everyone to find a comfort zone and find it hard – if not almost impossible – to get out of. I hope you're able to!
it is so important to skip the compare and contrast game! i love you pointed it out, each blogger has something different and unique to say so be proud of you and your blog! and don't put yourself down. you have some great tips here for sure
Thanks so much, Meg! I think it's difficult to balance – people want to be themselves, but they want to be big. So somehow, you have to find happiness with your way to the top – not someone elses.
Great advice, Ashley! I try to reach out… and often overwhelm myself by spending too much time social media-ing instead of snuggling with my family (confession of the day). It's tough to strike the right balance, but you are SO right that you have to make an effort!
Thanks, Sarah! I know that balance is the key to all of this. I'm guilty of it myself, so I've been dedicating a specific amount of time to this kind of thing each day. So far it's working out great. :]
Great post! AGREED!
Ashley:)
Thanks for sharing. Sometimes it's intimidating being a newer blogger, reaching out to more experienced bloggers feels like being the new kid in school! It's nice to know some people remember that they were all new once too :)
Thanks, Colleen! I still feel that way at times so I don't know that it ever goes away fully. ;) I think it's just important to put yourself out there and know that the people worth your time will take to you!
Thanks for giving some much needed advice. :)
I'm somewhat new to the blogging community; been in and out of it the past couple of years. So far, I have not made any "blog friends" so maybe now I will start reaching out more.
-Hilliary
themotleysunflower.blogspot.com
Thanks so much, Hillary! I think you've got the right idea – sometimes it just takes you making the first move and that's enough. Good luck!
What great tips! Thanks for sharing.
Great post:) It’s kind of like making “in real life” friendships, you have to put yourself out there sometimes. I love my blogging family…and the best treat to blogging is meeting people you would never physically meet because of the distance. I have been blogging since May 2011 and in September, I met one of my best friends! Who? A blogger! Andi from http://www.pidgapeg.blogspot.com is always there for me. I’ve shared with her more than I ever thought I would. Getting emails from her makes me smile (we talk and text now too!). I love it.
Thanks for your honesty and great post!
Wanna be friends? lol:) no really…I’m a great stalker just ask Pidg! ha!
Of course I'd love to be friends, Renee! ;) I've met some amazing people online as well! I've met one offline and have plans to meet a couple more when the opportunity arises. It's truly a wonderful thing how the Internet can put two people, that would never meet otherwise, together.
YES and more YES. Such a great post, Ashley!!! Especially #1. It can be a little nerve-wracking, reaching out and contacting someone who's blog you love… However, once you do, it's AMAZING and all of the worries vanish. I love talking with my fellow blogger ladies and I've made such fabulous friends – including YOU! ♥
Thanks for the comment, Angie! I couldn't agree more. <3
Great tips!! Thanks for the ideas. I totally agree… reaching out, or having someone reach out to me, has been amazing!
I really love this post!
Thanks, Brandy!
Very useful tips! Thanks for the reminder and for sharing them!
Thanks so much for stopping by! :]
Great post! Especially the last one, something I feel intimidated to leave comments on the bigger blogs just because of their size! Something for me to work on.
Sometimes I still get that way. It's tough to push past it all the time, but it's almost always worth it. Thanks, Zoe!
Some very good tips! I'm working on some aspects of this as well. Mostly the shy thing. Though I don't know if it's technically shy; I read a LOT of blog posts, but I don't comment all that often, just because I don't always feel I have something to say/add even if I really like the post. Though maybe that's just me thinking that a comment that only says 'I really liked this post!' isn't that useful to the blogger. I should maybe get over that. Lol.
I think worthwhile comments are definitely something that are harder to come by. I read a lot more than I comment on so I totally understand. :] Thanks Amanda!
fun post Ashley!!
I am proud of myself for slowly overcoming my hardest…which was believe it or not, being SHY!
I think you're a liar. ;) You're so sweet and outgoing now! Good for you!
thanks for the tips. I have been wanting to reach out to other bloggers, but I wasn’t quite sure how.
I think these will get you pretty far, Monique! I hope they help!
Wonderful post Ashley, i needed this reminder! :)
Kate xo
Glad I could help, Kate! ;)
Thanks for posting this! I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It can definitely be intimidating when you're relatively new to blogging. :)
So true! But just because you're new, it doesn't mean you don't have something wonderful to share with the world.
Thanks, Courtney! :)
great post! I have been reaching out more lately–i think it really helps! i always felt too shy before, but it's really necessary to make these connections!
Thanks, Erin! Reaching out can be tough, but it's SO worth it.
Great advice, Ashley. I’m right up there with usually feeling like the new kid in school, but trying to take the plunge!
I think everyone has felt that at some point. And who am I kidding – I still do! ;) Good for you for pushing yourself to make the move though!
I love each of these tid bits of wisdom!
And I love your blog-so glad you found me so we can get to know each other better!
I'm glad I found your blog, too! :] Thanks so much, Rachel!
Awesome post Ashley! These are great points :)
Thanks, Skye!
Great tips, love it! I totally agree and use these in my own blogging. I <3 collaboration :)
Great reminders! The last point is excellent, to not let the apparent success of a blogger intimidate you to not pursue a friendship or collaboration with them. Thank you for this post!
Great post yet again :) thanks for sharing!
Great post :) thank you for sharing the tips and advice…
xoxo
Thank you for this post! I just started blogging and this is very helpful:) I'm a bit shy, but you have really given me the confidence I need to reach out to other bloggers!
aspiretoinspire
So glad to hear that, Aimee! You can do it! :)
Great post! I really needed this. I have been blogging for 2 months, I have yet to really find a circle of bloggy friends. I can see some relationships other bloggers have with eachother, and its awesome!
I know it's hard to find that close group of friends that some people have, but it just means that you haven't found the right people yet – that's all. :)
This is fantastic, thank you so much for sharing this- one of my goals this new year is to connect better/more with other bloggers & collaborate, so this came in perfect timing for me. Thanks for the tip on not talking at someone, I think I must do this unintentionally all the time when commenting, although sometimes remember the questions. Remembering to not compare is always a great reminder too. So glad I stumbled across your blog tonight : ) Oh, & your Google reader button didn't work for me, just shows a bunch of code. Do you have google friend connect too though or just bloglovin? (sry for the massive comment ; ) http://dusanabotswana.com/
Thanks so much for the sweet comment! I'm glad it could help in some way :)
And the GR link should work, but otherwise yep – I just have Bloglovin!
love this post, and great tips!! want to be friends :) hihi!! (are we doing it the right way now :p )
love soldoutforever
Great great post!!! These are all fabulous tips!! By not being shy and reaching out to others that's how I got to know you better and never regretted it!! :)
This is great advice! I always feel inferior to bigger blogs. It's nice to know that many bloggers don't look at numbers. This may help me reach out more :)
Great post! I am just starting out in then blogging world and this post has come at just the right time for me! It can be difficult but I'm starting to comment and network more (I hope) :-S
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great post. It's sometimes hard to watch blogs with so many followers and not get overwhelmed. But you're right- everyone starts somewhere!
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