Archives for July 12, 2012

On Limits & Promises

 

Do you know how many times I’ve talked about changing this blog to reflect more of who I am? Eight times. Nine if you include today. Since this blog has been around for over 20 months now, that’s approximately once every 2 to 2 1/2 months.

That’s an ugly fact to face for me.

But the truth is that every time I said it, I meant it. I meant every single word 110%. But it never happened. Small changes happened from time to time, but they never left me feeling like I had achieved the goal I wanted to achieve. Maybe I was doing it for the wrong reasons. Maybe I had no clue what the changes that needed to be made were. Whatever the reason, I’d like to end that repeating trend throughout my blog where I’m constantly promising myself and every one else something that doesn’t seem to happen.

And in order to do that, I need to lift the limits I’ve set up for myself.

The specific topics that I can blog about.

The way I write certain posts.

The things that need to be done before a post goes live.

The days that things need to be posted and their correlating themes.

The amount of posts per day, or per week.

The length, the pictures, and the wording needing to be included in each and every post.

The advertising requirements.

The social media requirements.

The email requirements.

That list of limits is endless and ugly. But it’s all my own doing.

Some days I miss when I had no one reading and I had no clue what I was really doing in the blog world. I stayed true to me because there was no other way to do things. It was all that I knew. It’s my fault that I’ve let an audience, and knowledge, and so-called “rules” sway me from that . . . but isn’t that how life works? Don’t they always say that what you don’t know can’t hurt you? I didn’t know that statistics mattered or how mine compared to other people. I didn’t understand that popular trends and themes could make a blog gain followers. I didn’t know that there was some sort of magic number of posts that people would read in a week. I knew so little about the blog world that I had to stick to what I knew, and that was how to be me.

Maybe this is from becoming addicted to the show Newsroom and watching the shift from a focus on ratings to focus on content. The followers, the views, the likes – they’re our version of ratings. Our version of what decides our popularity. And since when have I ever watched a show just because of it’s ratings? When have I ever sat through a movie that I hated just because it received high ratings? The answer is never.

I’ve always been a bit unorthodox and that’s not coming through in what I write, or how I write it, or what I do with my space on the Internet. And I want it to. I want you to like me, or this blog, because you know exactly who I am – flaws and all. And if you don’t like me, or this blog, I want it to be because you know exactly who I am – not some warped version of who I was trying to be.

And in this change, I want to bring it back some of it back to you. I used to use this blog as a way to get to know people. A way to understand myself and meet like-minded individuals. I used to use it as a way to network and initiate friendships that I would have never had without this blog. But the more I drifted away from myself, the harder it was to use my blog as the forum I was hoping for. The harder it was to connect with people since I had already stopped connecting with my blog.

I don’t know what this means in terms of what will change because some of the rules and limits I’ve created for myself truly are a direct reflection of what I want and who I am. But not all. So this is my promise.

I promise to blog from the heart, even if that means doing something a little backwards. I promise to take a break from things when I need to, never apologizing for it or for being human. I promise to reinvigorate this blog, my shop, and any spot I occupy on the Internet with the life that resides within me, not the life I think should reside in me. I promise to open up and show you my inspiration, my motivation, and my purpose – whatever those are, even if they change every day. I promise to stop saying this blog will better reflect who I am after posts, and just make it happen.

I promise to be the best blogger and the best shop owner I can be, no matter how many “rules” I break.