When I was in counseling years ago, I told my counselor that I never felt like I had enough time to be everything I needed to be for myself and for everyone around me. Her response was something that has stuck with me through the years:
And I don’t think that could be more true. However, I’m disappointed to say I don’t do a very good job at practicing that idea in two core aspects of my life: my work and my marriage.
More often than not, I work 10+ hour days. That means 50+ hour weeks with a high likelihood of working on the weekend for at least 2 hours each day. And after those 10+ hours are up each day, I usually have my phone out which allows me to check and send emails, update social media, etc.
Because of this, my work ethic has tanked.
When Friday rolls around, I’m done. Totally beat, ready to surrender, waving my white flag. My weekend is spent trying to play catch up with my brain and body. And because I know I’m going to work more than I want to, I procrastinate. My to-do list never ends so there’s no point in rushing everything since it seems like I have a never-ending list of things to work on with what feels like a never-ending amount of time to work. On top of all that, I lose the joy that I occasionally have (and used to constantly have) for what I do. The blog posts, the comments, the emails, the shop updates, the sales – it all begins to feel more like work, and less like the dream I was so intent on living.
And in the end, it translates to one thing: less quality time spent with my husband, myself and family. By the time I close my laptop or turn off the Mac to mark the “end” of my work day, I’m ready to veg out and watch mindless television until I go to sleep and just throw something the microwave for dinner. Instead of cooking with Nathan, playing with the dogs outside, or taking some time out for myself – I tune out, knowing the next day just restarts the vicious cycle I’ve created.
Because of this, my personal life has suffered.
I’m not okay with either of the end outcomes. It’s not a good reflection of my beliefs and what I want out of life at all. So I think it’s time to step back. Reassess. Move forward, but with a different approach.
Over the next two weeks while I’m finishing up finals for school and getting the new shop ready to launch, I’m going to step back from working like I have been and focus on coming up with a plan that works for me. Something that allows me to have quality time with the people I loved and the business I have. Something that allows me to make the best use of my time on all fronts. Something that brings back the love I had for the life I dreamed of.
I’m not sure what that means yet, but I know that it’s got to be better than what I’m currently doing. I’m thinking that now might be the perfect time to try out this schedule.
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Today’s Thought: I finally started reading my copy of Soul Pancake by Rainn Wilson and I think I’m in love.