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Something I struggle with when writing a post for this blog is negativity versus honesty. Where does that fine line start and where does it end?
My goal for this blog has always been to be honest. And at the same time, inspiring. I never wanted these two things for someone else, either. These two requirements were set in stone long before I gained a single follower. Long before I really understood blogging. Long before I even knew what I would write about on a regular basis. I asked these two things of myself because I wanted a place that I could look back on, believe everything I wrote, and be proud that I wrote it. Honesty and inspiration were two things that I knew would allow me to do just that.
But more often than not, I stumble. The line is so thin between being honest about how I feel and being negative that I run circles around them both, only to throw in the towel in the end and walk away from a half-written post. I believe in honesty. I believe in positivity. And I even believe in negativity, but only to a point.
I’m a glass half full kind of person through thick and thin. I don’t regret my mistakes and I don’t hold grudges. I forgive (yet unfortunately don’t forget) each and every person who has wronged me when I’m ready. I think positivity breeds positivity. I’m a firm believer in karma and believe that everything I do, good or bad, will come back to me somehow. I vent until I’m over something and then it becomes a non-issue. I get over things as quickly as they upset me and I move on to live my life peacefully.
But it doesn’t mean that life isn’t rocky sometimes.
And when it does get rocky, I’m not sure how to write about it. I’m not sure how to write it down and not feel like I’m hosting my own pity party for one or trying to gather sympathy. I want to write about the tough times, but I want to walk away from that post knowing that I’m over it, have forgiven myself or someone else, and have moved on. I want to walk away with a lesson learned – be it through my own words or someone else’s. Can that be done?
Do I write about the situation and cope within the post? Do I write about my feelings about the situation, in hopes that I’m being honest with myself, and forgive and forget as soon as I hit publish? I don’t feel like there’s a clear cut answer that works every time. If there is, I’m disappointed I haven’t figured it out yet.
How do you write about life’s less than stellar moments without dwelling too much on the issue at hand?
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I choose solitude over social scenes. Tea and wine over soda and beer. Simplicities over complexities. And chocolate over all of those things any day.
we’re the same person. the same. :) i have this exact problem too. i want to be real and open and honest on the blog but i’m afraid i will turn people away and it will come off negative. i thought i was actually doing a good job one time at keeping the balance then i had someone tell me that i didn’t seem like i liked being a mom because i complained all the time and it really made me nervous to talk about that stuff again. there is definitely a balance that i am still trying to learn too and hopefully i’m not too far …?
For me, the difference between a pity party & an honest (& maybe negative) post is the ending. Did anything constructive happen inside of you by the time you finished writing it? If not, then it’s definitely a pity party. But if you’ve finished getting all of your frustrations out & can see something learned or something to be thankful for, then it’s going to be something that empowers you and inspires others and is definitely worth posting. Readers may sympathize & feel for you anyway, but by the end they should also start seeing how the negative experience is working for good in you and your life. Well, even if they don’t, you should, and that’s the most important part of it. What good does having a crappy week do you or anyone if you don’t learn anything from it?
So for all those half written posts, try to finish them with something hopeful, something you’ve learned (even if it’s a sarcastic “what not to do”), otherwise they may never really feel finished because you haven’t actually finished getting through those experieces. So write about them, but don’t post about them until you’re through them. It may not work for every negative post or thought out there, but it might help with some. I know I haven’t been blogging for too long, but so far that’s been my rule of thumb and I’ve felt good about publishing every post I’ve written, even those honest, negative ones.
I echo the above comments. I will have something weighing me down sometimes. Sometimes I write it, sometimes I don’t. I do consider if I will hurt the people involved if they read it. Then I either tweak it a bit, or just don’t post it. Often writing is a very healing thing for me. It gets me to the place I need to be.
I, unfortunately, tend to be a fairly negative person. I dislike it about myself and try very hard to not show it on my blog. I guess as far as my blog goes I try to be the best part of myself. And that includes not letting my negative side show. Even throughout my divorce I tried incredibly hard to not vent my negativity and anger on my blog because I just didn’t see the point in putting those words out there for others to see.
I envy people who are glass half full kind of people. I strive to be like that. But in the very least, I don’t feel as if blogging has a place for negativity. Honesty, yes. Negativity no.
Off to email you!
I loved your honesty in this post. It’s a tough subject for all bloggers. I have all the frustrations and issues in my life that many of us do but I shy away from talking about them in my blog. I feel it’s like walking a narrow line and I’m not good at that. And I’m ok with keeping it to myself for the most part.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
Karen
I don’t know the answer, but I am still struggling with that same question. In fact, I have the half-written blog post to prove it! I just wanted to leave a comment saying that I felt every word of your post. I love the way you expressed it. Negativity breeds more negativity as well. I have noticed that is true in my own blogging, and in some of the comments that are left too! I don’t ever want to be fluffy, I want to be real – and sometimes that means being negative. I just hope it comes and goes and leaves more room for the other.