When I took a break this past weekend, I expected to come back feeling exhausted. Defeated. Ready to totally withdraw.
And I did.
But only for a few brief moments before it turned into a realization that life was never meant to be perfect. Because if it was, there would never be any time to sit back and reflect on what was. Or what will be. Or even more so, what should be.
There are moments in life that define you. That define the life you’re meant to live. They’re messy, never planned, and always bring you to the bottom before you’re able to rise to the top. They feel like they’re tearing apart everything you’ve created and leaving you to battle the beast completely alone. But those moments get lost when you climb out. They’re merely fleeting seconds in a lifetime filled with beautiful memories. They build us, create us, and lead us to a road worth being on.
This past weekend brought my life into clear focus.
It reminded me I wasn’t be true to myself. Not in life, not in my relationships, not in my business, and not in my blog. I was never lying, or omitting anything from my existence, but I hadn’t allowed myself the room that I needed to grow. I had already outgrown myself. And instead of embracing that – embracing the person I had fought to become – I retreated. White flag. Surrendered. I clung tightly to the person I was because it was what I knew and it was free of new mistakes.
I’m breaking the strings that have held me back from living. Breathing. Doing. Achieving. Accomplishing. Believing. Dreaming. Creating.
I’m ready to make those mistakes again. The new ones that pave the way for new experiences and memories. The ones that broke the mold of the life that I felt I had to fit into. I’m ready to screw up, apologize, and grow. I’m ready to make a mess of things just so I can put the pieces back together again by doing it right the second, or third, or even the forth time.
I’m shedding my skin and allowing myself to be vulnerable again. Susceptible to influence from the things I love, the things I adore, and especially the things I’ve prevented myself from experiencing. No more rules, no more standards.
No more expectations for any sense of perfection.