A Blogger’s Confessions: Part 1

A new series about the sometimes better left unsaid thoughts on blogging.

You know all of those things that people say not to do when you’re a blogger?

Like blogging about things that you have no interest in just because they’re popular. Or doing things like giveaways or writing specific posts just to gain followers. Or following the unwritten rules of blogging that I thought were written in stone.

I’ve done them.

I’ve done all of them, most likely.

At one point in time, I was caught up in the “magic” of being a blogger. The thoughts that were fueled by fame and fortune. I wanted to be big, I wanted to be well-known, I wanted to be famous. And I wanted blogging to be a huge source of my income. Because I thought that the journey that led to that was for me.

I was ready to give everything up for it. I lost time with family. I lost sleep. I lost personal time. I missed out on experiences I will never get back. I missed out on moments that became only bits and pieces of my past instead of life changing memories. I missed out on being present, in my life, with my family.

I’m ashamed to admit these things because saying them out-loud makes them all that more real. But it’s true. And I don’t say it to trash my former self, or even to let you know how wrong I was. I say it to remind myself of how easy it is to forget your priorities and lose yourself in something that doesn’t really mean anything.

Say I did become a famous blogger. One that earned a substantial amount from my blog and was well-known across the blogging world. Hundreds of thousands of page views, and regular paying sponsors, and a committed audience that hung on my every word. What does that really mean? What does that really do for me, as a person? What goals or life dreams does that really get me any closer to checking off?

In the grand scheme of things, unfortunately it means close to nothing. It doesn’t make me a better person. It doesn’t grant me more compassion. It doesn’t make me a better wife, or friend, or mother to pets or children. It doesn’t make me appreciate what life has to offer and be grateful for my opportunities or chances.

None of it means anything at all unless it’s done the right way.

And the right way isn’t giving up time with my friends or family. The right way isn’t losing sleep or stressing out over emails. It isn’t about getting ahead of other people to claim my fame or my fortune. It isn’t about getting lost in priorities that don’t mean anything to me or my loved ones. It isn’t about selling out to just be another page that’s regularly read on the Internet.

The right way is about doing what’s right for you, in your own way, and letting it take a natural course. If you wind up rich and famous because of it, that’s wonderful. But if you don’t? That’s still wonderful.

Because you don’t have to be rich or famous to be a good person, or a good wife, or an excellent mother. You don’t have to be rich or famous to be present in your daily life and remember the beautiful moments that occur when you least expect it. Or to be happy or satisfied with your choices that you made in life. Or to be an inspiration to the people around you. Or to make friends and life long relationships.

You don’t have to be rich or famous to be an amazing blogger. I promise.

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Comments

  1. Love it! Perfect post…something that I definitely need to be reminded of! Thank you:)
    Ashley

  2. I read your blog on a regular basis, but would love to comment on this post. You really made me think about my blogging activities, which frankly have just started since a couple of months. But I totally agree that it is easy to lose yourself in blogging activities, and how important it is not to forget about your loved ones. Thank you so much for this post.

  3. Well said Ashley.

  4. Yes! Great post! I couldn’t have said it better!

  5. Great post Ashley! Can’t wait to continue reading the series.

  6. thanks for the encouragement! i love your honesty and how candid you are.
    it truly is so inspiring!

  7. Well said. I know there have been times when I’ve declined on doing things out in the offline world because I was so focused on the blogging world that I couldn’t be bothered… and the reality was, I was just pouring my energy into something I wasn’t truly enjoying because I was trying to force myself to be someone I wasn’t.

    When I rededicated myself to blogging a little over year ago, I made a promise to myself not to push myself or post things that I didn’t have a genuine interest in, and it’s been a much healthier arrangement for me! I might not have the biggest readership, but those who are around seem pretty dedicated!

  8. Thanks for the perspective. I needed that.

  9. Thanks for your insight and honesty. Blogging for me is sometimes a love/hate relationship. I love my blog but I am not good about posting regularly and forcing myself to post something is the hate side of it all. I have a handful of followers and get very few comments. But I love the beauty of a blog, the creativity it allows me and of course reading all the blogs I enjoy following. Looking forward to your continuing posts on this.
    Karen

  10. Hey Ashley. I discovered your blog about…ten minutes ago. This post caught my attention. The honesty behind your writing has really made me stop and think about what I’m doing with my own blog. My blog is quite young, as am I, so I really want to “do it right” the first time. I guess I’m just saying thank you for your honesty and inspiration. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    ~Jessica

  11. You’re so right! I often find myself lacking in my school work to keep myself updated with blogs! And in the end, yeah I’ve read the posts and maybe gained some pageviews, but my grades suffer. It’s truly a hard balance, especially when success starts coming into the picture.

  12. Beautifully written! I’ve been thinking about similar things lately. I’ve let my personal family blog (which is more like family journal) suffer while focused on my public blog. I’ve lost too much sleep on blogging. I’ve neglected housework and other things. Balance is so difficult! And, you are so right…in the grand scheme of things does it really matter how many pageviews or comments you got? Thanks for sharing your heart. :)

    Jillian
    Hi! It’s Jilly

  13. This is a beautiful post! And very helpful! Thank you :)

  14. I LOVE this post. I love your honesty. I love most of all that i could have written many of these very words myself out of my own experiences here in cyberspace.
    We would definitely have TONS to chat about over coffee. XO

  15. I just stumbled upon this and it made me cry. I needed to read this today, so thank you very much for that. You are so right.

  16. This is such a wonderful article Ashley, thank you for being so open and sharing this! I think I end up saying that to your posts all the time, but it’s always true and always so refreshing. I’m currently trying to change little things to make blogging more fun for me so that I’m not missing out much-needed relax time after a full days work and have certainly been losing sleep over getting the next post up.. so dumb in the long run for sure.

  17. Thank you for this Ashley. So often I value myself and my blog’s content and identity based on that GFC count on my sidebar, or the number of Twitter followers I have. It really is ridiculous. I’m bookmarking this post as a reminder to myself to focus on the things that really MATTER in LIFE!

  18. Really thought-provoking post, Ashley. I’m a new blogger and it really got me thinking about what I want from it, and for it – thanks!
    http://thelittlestbakehouse.com/2013/01/31/changes/

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  1. […] posted some blogging confessions. If you’re a blogger, I’m sure you can […]

  2. […] A series about the sometimes better left unsaid thoughts on blogging. Read Part 1. […]