Archives for March 13, 2013

Word Vomit Wednesday

I needed last week’s post. I needed a space, a time, a place where my words didn’t have to have a significant meaning or a beneficial point. I needed to be able to type without meaningful intention. I was able to just write. Freely. Carelessly. And with no hope of having a deep impact on someone’s day or changing my life. For me, it was a return of a diary entry. Simple words that maybe should never see the light of day. Yet powerful words that drop the weight on your shoulders once they’re out of your head.

It gave me the freedom I needed. A break from the pressure of high-quality, well thought out posts that can take hours to perfect. So I decided I’d make it a regular thing. A day off, maybe. A day where I can be me without the need to put on the finishing touches before my thoughts are put out into the universe. Real, raw, and honest. And sometimes that’s exactly what you need to find yourself again.

Yesterday was one of those days where I hardly accomplished anything, but instead of overwhelming guilt and disappointment … I relished in it. Nathan stayed home sick with the flu and I used it as an excuse reason to relax. We had a Dexter marathon, enjoyed our pull out couch, and did nothing of importance outside of getting the garbage and recycling on the curb. A day that in the grand scheme of things meant nothing for the business, or our lives in general, and yet it meant everything for my state of mind.

My priorities have changed and I feel unbalanced now. Some days leaning a little more to the right, others nearly falling to the left. The idea of moving has slowly eased onto the back-burner, feeling like a distant dream. Life has been consumed with the busyness of the Gnarly Whale and I scoff at the idea of moving in the midst of this now. Sure, the sunny coastlines and the blissful beaches sound like paradise – but not when you know there’s no chance in hell you’d even have the time to enjoy them. Instead we’ve focused our efforts on figuring out what we need to do to get Nathan working from home on the business full-time. For his sake and my sanity. It’s disappointing, overwhelming, incredibly exciting, and oh so fulfilling at the same time.

I had {have?} dreams of being an author one day. I just don’t know how to put my story into the right words. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have the time, sometimes I feel like what I have to share isn’t enough to put into a novel, and sometimes the idea just feels like a foreign film with poorly written subtitles.

Do you remember the no cut half year? I haven’t gotten a regular haircut since then. That’s June 2011, folks. Holy batman, I’m overdue.

I haven’t been to the dentist for years. Years upon years. Like 5, 6, maybe 7 or 8 years. I know I need to go, but I’d honestly rather go get a yearly check-up. Which I haven’t gone to in quite a few years as well. But this time it’s only pushing 4, 5 or maybe 6 years. I lost count.

I had a White Cookie Caramel Cookie Chiller from Gloria Jean’s over the weekend and now I want them all the time. I need to try this recipe to see if I can recreate it at home so I don’t go broke.

So what’s your story this week?