Each week Megan and I are talking about how we are pushing to live the right life for us and we’d love for you to join us! Add the button from the middle column to the right, link-up this week’s posts on what you’re doing for yourself, and help encourage each other to live the right lives!

After Nine To Five Print

When it comes to doing the right thing. sometimes it’s easier said than done. Especially when it comes to living the right life that makes me happy.

Choosing chips over vegetables. Or choosing pizza or fast food over cooking a well-balanced meal. Sleeping in instead of getting up and being productive. Lounging on the couch with the television on instead of going for a walk. Going to sleep before I straighten up the house or wash my face. And the list goes on and on.

A lot of these were learned habits over the years that I continued to carry with me as I grew up. It stems from laziness and a lack of motivation. But more importantly, it’s a by-product of skewed priorities. Priorities that revolve around doing the easy thing instead of the right thing. Priorities that focus on the present alone, with no thought of the future in mind.

And I think it’s time to change that.

I need to refocus my efforts on ensuring my future is just as enjoyable, if not more enjoyable, as my present.

If I don’t, what’s the point?

I want to have a better life to look forward to in the future. So with that in mind, I’m changing my attitude. Choosing to stay up and finish a few things before bed. Allowing for extra prep time for snacks and meals to ensure I’m eating the right things. Using my time better so that I’m still able to relax and enjoy my time.

They are simple things that only add up to maybe an extra hour or two a day. I’m sure I can give up enough television, or Internet surfing, or various other time wasters to make this easy.

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Each week Megan and I are talking about how we are pushing to live the right life for us and we’d love for you to join us! Add the button from the middle column to the right, link-up this week’s posts on what you’re doing for yourself, and help encourage each other to live the right lives!

A lot of times I get caught up in the life that I should have. Especially when it comes to blogging.

The one where I respond to all of my emails in minutes.

The one where I read everyone’s blogs every day and have plenty of time to comment.

Where I always have the right words and pictures for every post.

Where I have plenty of time to post interesting things on Facebook and Twitter.

Where I blog about all of the popular things and follow the right trends.

Essentially the one that completely misrepresents who I am. Because I can’t respond to all of my emails within minutes. I don’t have enough time to read everyone’s blogs on a daily basis. I don’t have the right words, or the right pictures all the time. I don’t always have an interesting life to post about on social media sites. And I am pretty clueless to 90% of the trends. So the blog I should have? It would never belong to me.

I know I’ve touched on this multiple times on my blog, but every now and then I feel like I lose sight of this. Lose sight of what I want this place to represent. I need to start focusing on what I can do. And even more so, what I want to do. What I want to do more than anything is to make sure that I always bring my joy and passion into my blog, my work, and everything else that fits into my Internet space. And to make sure that my life outside of my Internet space never suffers because of my blog. That I never miss out on things or decide things based off of a misconceived notion that it’s the popular/trendy thing to do.

I want to bring the best me to my blog and I want my blog to allow the best me to be brought into the rest of my life. That goes for this blog, my business, my email, my social media networks, and everything else that falls into my little corner of the blog world.

So if I don’t always respond to an email on time, it’s okay. I will always get to it.

If I don’t get a chance to read blogs every day, they’ll be there tomorrow.

If I don’t always have the right words or the perfect pictures, it’s okay. I can skip a post.

If I don’t update Twitter or Facebook, it’s really not going to matter much in the grand scheme of things.

If I don’t blog about the trendy things, who cares? This is my place.

And if people don’t like it, I respect that. But I hope that they/you’ll respect my choices, too. Blogging is something that will always be a learning process for me. I’ll always make mistakes and stray a bit from the path I’m meant to be on because there are so many choices and options here. But I’m going to strive to make an effort to keep myself as true to the real me as I can while I’m here. Even as I change and grow, I know this blog will change and grow.

But all that matters is that it’s a true reflection of me. Not what I think it should be.

Each week Megan and I are talking about how we are pushing to live the right life for us and we’d love for you to join us! Add the button from the middle column to the right, link-up this week’s posts on what you’re doing for yourself, and help encourage each other to live the right lives!

If you’ve followed my blog for an even semi-regular amount of time, you’ve seen my countless attempts to lose weight.

Changes in diet plans.

Different exercise routines.

Added gym equipment

The list goes on and on.

And it’s hard because in the whole time that I’ve had this blog, I’ve been in my healthy weight range. I haven’t been considered overweight. Know that I’m not bragging at all. I mention this because it makes people look at me differently. It makes them think that my reasons are flawed. I’ve been told I don’t need to join Weight Watchers. I don’t need to exercise. I don’t need to do all the things that I’m aching to do.

And it’s true. I don’t need to do them. But I want to.

I want to eat healthy, even if my weight doesn’t say that I need to. I want to lose ten pounds, even if I’m already in my goal weight range. I want to run and bike ride to tone up, even if I don’t look like I need to. I want to do all of these things because right now, I don’t feel like I’m the best me I could be. I’m not perfect, and I know I never will be, but I long for a sense of confidence in my body. I long for a sense of being content with my figure, my form, and my shape.

Do I believe that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Nope.

Do I love certain food too much to completely give it up? Yep.

Do I think I need to run myself ragged by working out to achieve that perfect body? Nope.

Do I think that there is more to life than counting calories and limiting myself from things I love? Yep.

But what I believe more than any of that is that there’s a perfect weight for everyone. A perfect weight that makes them feel alive and confident. One that makes them feel sexy or attractive. One that makes them comfortable with their clothing. One that doesn’t leave them shying away from mirrors. One that makes them know, inside and out, they’re worth it.

And that? That is what I’m going for.

Whether or not I’m in my healthy weight range or I don’t fit into the overweight category, I’m not happy. And I want to be. I want to have that perfect weight that reminds me that I’m worth it to myself.

So yesterday I started that journey, ignoring what has been said to me. I began the C25k journey again and felt amazing after I completed day one. I already knew I was making my way down the path that led to that perfect weight. It definitely helped that two girls joined in after hearing me talk about it on Twitter as well.

But I’m ready. I’m ready to find that perfect weight that makes me feel like I’m able to be the best me that I can be. Whether its 2 pounds or 10 pounds lighter, or maybe a toned stomach and/or toned thighs, I’m ready to find it and keep it.

Last week, Caitlin from To Make Love Stay wrote a post about writing like her true self. And it stayed with me for a long time because it was a direct reflection of how I was feeling after Secret Week.

Having two themed weeks gave me a break from my usual posts. They gave me time to reflect on who I was as a person and what my blog was really all about. The answer I came up with was something along the lines of . . .

Who I am is not reflected in my blog on a regular basis

And truth be told, it stung. It was the truth, but it made me wonder what on Earth I was doing for the past year+. It made me wonder if I should just call it quits, say we had a good run, and walk away from the place I had worked so hard at creating. But I knew the answer. I’ve spent this last year figuring out exactly who I was. Figuring out what I wanted this blog to be about. Figuring out what was important to me.

The past year has been a HUGE year for me growth wise. I’ve done things I never thought I would and changed the most I ever have in that time-span. It’s been a wonderful ride, but it’s been hard at times. Incredibly trying on me, my relationships, my business, etc. It always bounces back, but I still struggled at times.

And I really want to share all of that with you

I’m an open book, honestly. And even if I wasn’t, I really don’t have much to hide behind after Secret Week. I pretty much put it all out there and hoped for the best. I know I’ve talked about changes around here before, and they may or may not have happened. But like the quote above, I want to change before I have to. I want to turn my blog into the place I dream of it being and not wait until it’s too far gone to save.

I’ve already taken it upon myself to make some much needed changes around here by updating all of my pages, including the about page and advertising page which both now better reflect my goals/dreams for this blog. Taken from the advertising page:

After Nine To Five is an inspirational hub for those looking for more out of life and to escape the standard cookie cutter mold with a nine-to-five grind. The four core elements of this blog include self-employment/entrepreneurship, inspiration and motivation, delicious food, and gorgeous photography. This makes it the perfect place to advertise for inspirational and uplifting bloggers, handmade business owners, self-employment and motivational themed websites or products, foodies and photographers, as well as products and brands that enable us to live our lives to the fullest.

And this is exactly what I want my blog to reflect.

Entrepreneurship (the good, the bad, and the ugly.)

Inspirational, motivational, and uplifting stories from myself (+ others)

My love for food, cooking, baking, and everything in between.

And the pictures I love to take, but never make time for.

All of these are already a part of my blog in some way, but not to the extent that I would like them to be. Not even close for some of them. And I’m ready. I’m SO ready to make them the key focuses of my blog because that’s my life. I work a lot. I eat a lot. I wish I used my camera more (A LOT more.) And I like to be inspired and inspire others. If someone wanted to know who I was in a few sentences, that’s it.

It won’t happen overnight. Probably not even just in the next week. But my goal is to slowly change the path my blog has been on for far too long now into one that reflects the person I am and the person I want to be.

Grab the button from the sidebar and link-up below!
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If you saw my tweets over the weekend or read this post, you saw what happened with our latest addition to our family. I’m incredibly grateful for how things turned out, but it left me with a lot of questions on how I’ve been living my life.

Am I really living the right life for me?

Do my actions reflect what is most important to me?

Do my possessions mean as much to me as I thought they did?

Am I making enough time for the things that are my top priorities?

And the truth is, most of these answers left me disappointed in myself and in the current state of my life. I’ve been living a lie in a sense, never dedicating enough time to the top priorities in my life. Never giving enough time or love to myself or my family and instead spending far too much time getting frustrated and burnt out with things that truly don’t matter or play such a small part in my life.

I’ve dedicated probably 80% of my time, my care, and my money to things that are pretty low in my priority list. Filling my home with material possessions and stressing over problems that don’t deserve even a second of my time. The other 20% is stretched thin between caring for myself and those that I love, trying to find a way to squeeze more time out of it than physically possible to make sure everyone is happy.

But what would happen if those two were flip-flopped?

What if I stopped wasting my money on things that only temporarily made me happy and instead saved it to do something I love doing? What if I stopped reading/watching things that were more-so an escape, or left me frustrated, and instead invested more time in learning new things? What if the time I wasted surfing the Internet, or watching TV, became quality time spent with the ones I loved or taking time out for myself? And what if the time I spent angry/frustrated/upset/sad over someone else’s actions was used to improve my own well-being instead?

I’m pretty sure the answer is fairly simple. It’s a pretty safe guess that the quality of my life would significantly improve.

Only I am holding myself back from that. I make these poor choices and choose the wrong emotions right now, but that’s not to say I have to do that. I can choose to change it. It just takes time. A lot of discipline. And a lot of focus on the things that matter, not the things that take away from the quality of my life.

In case you missed it last week: A couple of awesome changes are coming to this series! Megan from And Here’s To You, Mrs. Robinson will be joining in each week, sharing how she’s ensuring that she’s living the right life for herself as well. On top of that, this series is becoming a link-up for everyone that we’ll both be hosting! Each Friday (or any other day after that), we encourage you to share your triumphs or struggles with the “shoulds” in your life with us and help push each other in the right direction.

In this past week, I’ve consumed more pizza than I usually do in a month. Along with an assortment of cookies and some rather scrumptious Boston Cream Pie, even. I haven’t exercised. I haven’t counted calories or focused on the right serving size.

And I don’t feel bad about it.

Sure, Monday will come around and I’ll stare at the scale wondering how on Earth is amounts to three+ pounds, but it’s worth it. It’s worth it to take a week off without worrying about every morsel going in my mouth and every step I take. It’s worth it to take a week off from worrying about my waistline. It’s worth it to go back to being like a kid, never caring what weight or size of waist I had. And if it means that it takes a few extra weeks to lose the weight I want to lose because I do this from time to time, so be it.

The responsibilities of being an adult are overwhelming. It’s time to take a step back from some of them – even if temporarily – and just live without a care in the world. Or at least with fewer cares.

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A couple of awesome changes are coming to this series this week! Megan from And Here’s To You, Mrs. Robinson will be joining in each week, sharing how she’s ensuring that she’s living the right life for her as well. On top of that, this series is becoming a link-up for everyone that we’ll both be hosting! Each Friday (or any other day after that), we encourage you to share your triumps or struggles with the “shoulds” in your life with us and help push each other in the right direction.

This week was a tough week for me. I spent the first half of it, lost in a game (a battle I was guaranteed to lose) of compare and contrast that came about as a result of some frustrating months. I lost sight of my business goals, my blog hopes, and the dreams that I had not too long ago felt were almost within reach. My time was spent comparing my success (or what I felt at the time was a lack there-of) to those around me, stumped as to why I wasn’t where they were.

And it hurt. It hurt like hell, honestly. It left me tired, drained me of my motivation to even work, and wishing an answer would just come to me. I’m not one to need to skip the hard work to fix things – I like the journey and I like the sense of accomplishment that comed from the hard work. But this week I just wanted it to all go away because I wasn’t sure what else I could do.

(Un)fortunately for me, the answer was there all along. I just didn’t want to acknowledge it.

It just took me letting go of a lot of misconceptions I started clinging to over this past few months. I forgot the advice I always gave people and how much I needed to apply it to my own life. I forgot how easy it was to just be myself by making it nearly impossible to do with the compare and contrast game. I forgot to just be content with who I am and the success I’ve come across.

It took longer than I liked, but the weight finally lifted. I reminded myself of why I was doing this. Why my journey was important. I read through advice (like the 5 tips) that I’ve given people, I sent a lengthy email to a good friend to get everything off my chest, and complained to my husband more times than I can count. Suddenly, the urge to be productive again crept in and I couldn’t stop my brain from running with all of the ideas I’ve been holding back the past few months.

It’s been a few days now and it hasn’t passed, despite the speed bumps that happened along the way. Sometime it takes finding the bad aspects of life to allow the best ones to emerge.

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For the past two days, I’ve been sick. Not throwing up sick. Not even a stuffy nose. But a migraine that wouldn’t budge. Joints that always ached. Tired, red and somewhat puffy eyes that urged me to stay away from the computer. I’m not sure why or what, but it was enough for me to say it’s time for a break.

My husband once told me about an employee he had managed who called in for a “mental health day.” I’d never heard of it before, and when he mentioned it, I couldn’t help but smile to myself, thinking it sounded ridiculous. But as I thought about it more, I realized that I had already taken mental health days. I just covered it up with a fake illness. I was always sick with a stomach bug because people asked less questions when it was stomach related whenever I just needed a day to breathe.

The reason I always did that was because I thought I should.

I decided yesterday I was going to redefine what I should do by deciding on what I wanted to do and doing that. So I didn’t write a post. I barely checked Twitter. I barely checked my email. And you know what I did instead?

I read.

For close to thirteen hours yesterday, I read. And then I continued that for about half of the day today as I felt little difference in the aches and pains from yesterday. However, the fact that it felt like it was an absolutely magical two days despite the fact that I felt quite under the weather bothers me. A lot.

I have lived a majority of my life by the standards of what I should do. I broke the mold when I took my flying leap into self-employment with no clue what I was doing, no business degree in hand, and only a glimmer of hope that the grass was greener on the other side. But you know what?

That glimmer of hope was the best thing I have ever held on to.

I want to embrace life and everything it has to offer. And sometimes? The best things in life aren’t the things we feel like we should do. Sometimes life gives us every reason to do the opposite in fact. So I decided it was time to push my life’s limits. Push myself out of the comfort zone surrounded with the should dos of life and simply live.

Do you focus on the shoulds of life more than you need to?